How do you address the potholes in your life?
I thought I should write a blog about this sensitive subject that at times could be misconstrued as being a personal attack when it really has nothing to do with you.
This is an actual conversation I had with someone, I will use the name Cheryl for privacy purposes.
I met with Cheryl, who was clearly upset that someone she was friendly with has now begun coping the things that she would receive, do, say or even wear.
I wanted a more clear understanding of the person's daily presentation of themselves and Cheryl gave me the same answer that other people I talk to tell me.
* Does not like being wrong
* Likes to be around people that agree with them
* Takes up a different life habit
* Does not stick by their word
* Getting or doing something is always been their dream
* When they get things, it becomes kind of secret with hidden hints. Cheryl described it as a manipulative guessing game.
Then I ask her, Do you know anything other than surface things about this person's personal life? Cheryl replied, "Well a little... I guess?... um, you know, I don't know".
So if you don't know much personal information about this person, why are you taking this so personal? Cheryl's reply... "Because I tell my stuff"
Exactly! You tell your stuff, and in return you are being told what you need to know.
When someone is not in a good place, or unhappy, lonely, or lost, the most they can do is take it all in and try to showcase a better them.
Showcase you ask... I mean, show off. If you are only shown the "good stuff" then everyone will think they are in good shape and happy. What better way for them to "showcase" a happy life then to try and replicate the idea of happiness.
An idea of happiness is much different than the actual act of happiness.
You see, when you are truly happy, you have worked to get there. You are on the path to your best self. You love who you are inside. You shine!
Now see someone that is not in a good place, they will try and replicate happiness without doing the work. That will NEVER last. You can get all the things you want, if you are not happy, nothing will be good enough. Many times people that replicate you can only replicate the material things. The act of actually doing the work is not an option, too much work and it will take to long. "Things" are easier to obtain and faster.
Faster to come and go.
So before you get worked up, take a step back and look at this situation as a fact. When the town fill in pot holes, maybe the town is not ready to have the whole road paved, so they go around the town filling in the holes. Now... this process is not all successful, but it will works until the real work can be done. Now this can be done over and over and never solve the pot hole issue, but for the town, the holes are covered. The fact is the cars ride over it, rain comes, snow comes, and the hole reappears. Nothing was solved, just covered over.
When you look at it this way, "stuff" fills a void that the other person is not ready to address. When the "stuff" is gone there is a need for more "stuff" to refill the hole they are not ready to fix. It has nothing to do with you, it is not personal.
Until you are ready to face your issues, nothing will ever get you to a good place. Nothing. Things are just things, they fill holes.
No matter what you show outside, if the inside is lost, you will always feel like someone else has more money, a better car, a happier life, better partner, bigger house, better friends, the list can go on and on.
So like I told Cheryl, It is not personal, it maybe hard right now, but see this situation for what it is and have compassion and understanding.
You, my friend are able to live your truth. Always remember, the best version of yourself is the version you can show from the inside. It is not about what you have, it is about living your truth.
Namaste my friends