When you lie to someone, they may have no idea you are lying until the truth came out. Lying to yourself... you already know the truth, it's the aftermath you have to think about.
Think back to when you lied to someone and they eventually found out. I am pretty sure it went down like this. You lied and if the other person(s) trusted you, they did not know any better but to believe you. Wow you got out of that one, right? Nope. As time goes on you may have just slipped the truth... unintentionally.
So what happened next? You were questioned and questioned and more questions, you get upset and then the trust issues set in. Maybe after that you got mad, because they did not trust you, but in fact my friend, you are not the victim, you are the cause.
Now think about how you lie to yourself? There is no slipping up and finding out. You already know.
What are some of the lies you tell yourself to feel better? You love your job, you love your partner, your friends, the list can go on and on. The problem with that list, is with one lie that you make yourself believe, comes another and bigger lie. Soon those lies that you tell yourself, become real and they begin to destroy you, because the reality of your lies is that you are unhappy and then... you break.
You end up doing things that are not for your highest good, you put others down when you see them happy, you back away from the people that are living and dealing with their issues. You, create a monster. You create and believe you are "The Victim". All this because you are in a bad place and will not acknowledge it.
Think about what keeps you lying? The money? The security? The title? The material things? Secrets? This list can go on and on!
I've been there, done that. I have had people that stayed with me at my worst and I stayed at my worst. But, when I began to acknowledge, they slowly back away, until one day I did not see them anymore.
It had nothing to do with me, they are not ready.
You see, they were lying to themselves. To really be ready to move on you have to face the things that are in your way. I had to do the process, I had to acknowledge the truths and it was NOT easy, but I did it.
I can still remember thinking my lies were like me being in a car. I was driving like I had a blinder on, ramming into people, not knowing where was going, getting hurt. That blinder was the continued lies that I was happy, in control but I was not. I just continually hurt myself when I lied that it was all okay.
Think about if you continually drove like that....you would get really, seriously hurt and you would have to pay tickets, fines, your car repairs, some other person's car repairs, your insurance would go up or they would drop you, you may even loose your licenses.
I bet you are saying NO WAY!
But think about it! You do it internally to yourselves, you pay the price when you lie. You hold yourself back. You are damaged and it takes a long time to repair. Do you really wants to continue like this?
You can do this!
Be mindful, try it. If you are not happy with your life, try the best way to change the way you react to it.
I believe in you, if I could do it, so can you.
You got this. If you want help, give me a call. We can schedule an appointment and no worries if you are far away, we can do coaching over the phone or computer.
Special thanks to my dear friend Bryan who I know is reading this, we have come a long way from 8th grade, and I am proud to call you my friend.
Namaste my friends